The Proper Cut

The PROPER Way To Cut A Pizza

Most things in life are not black and white. There is always some degree of gray, right? Well, how to cut a pizza is not one of those things. There is indeed, a right way and wrong way, to cut a pizza. When you order a pizza, you don’t want anyone to be at a disadvantage. Equally sized, triangle-shaped “slices” is the only way to cut a pizza. Period.

THIS is how you cut a pizza. It’s called a “PIE” cut. The result? Evenly sized, triangular “slices”.

This is only acceptable at children’s parties (where the kids are under the age of 10). That’s it. Don’t serve adults this way unless you’re going to put a toothpick in each, unevenly-sized square piece and call it hors d’oeuvres. When presented with such a cut, as a strategy, I only eat the pieces with a crust.

Appropriately named when one of the movers from NJ, for whom I ordered pizza during a lunch break, opened the pizza box, and literally stared at the pizza. “WTF?!” he exclaimed. This cut is immediately indicative of the potential for very poor pizza, or someone who failed geometry.

Anyone not from NWI looks at a checkerboard / party cut pizza and is quite puzzled. I think I’ve figured it out……

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